I thought it was bullshit too, the advice from old fathers, who had been at this for 20 some years. Time goes by as a snap, they would say. Time doesn't matter. You turn around and they are young adults, barely needing you. Maybe needing you even more, hard to say.
When she was born, to be quite frank, she looked like a yellow lizard. She was vaguely jaundiced. She was skinny. But my heart belonged, irrevocably, to her, as it had belonged to her brother before her and to her sister after her. We took her home on the third night after she was born, it was early February and it was snowing. Cold. We put her into her tiny snowsuit, that was large enough for her to swim in and took her home.
A few hours after we got her home, we became a little alarmed by her yellow color. She didn't look like a sunflower, or anything, she just looked yellow. So, I bundled her back into the car and took her to the Pediatrician who was on duty at the hospital who told me not to worry, she was fine. So we all began our lives together.
*snap*
She's 4 and eating my dinner with me. For years, I would come home late from work. Her mother would have my dinner set aside for me. She would come up and say "Whatcha' eatin', Dad-dy?"
"I'm eating my dinner."
"Can I haf some?"
Whereupon, I would sit her on my lap and we'd eat my dinner. I didn't have a meal to myself until she turned 6.
*snap*
She's 7 and it's her birthday party. Her hair is loose and flowing around her happy, smiling face. Surrounded by her friends, as she dances the freeze dance to "Who Let The Dogs Out?" You know, we never DID find out who did.
*snap*
She's 12 and her face is awash in tears as her mother and I tell them we are getting divorced.
*snap*
She's 14 and smiling in my parents' front yard, in Maine. Watching as her aunts, uncles and cousins, who she has not had much contact with, come home. Everyone gets a kiss, everyone gets a hug in our family.
*snap*
She turned 17 yesterday. She got her license today. She doesn't need her Dad as much. My heart is still irrevocably hers.
Happy birthday, Veronica. I love you.
Dad
